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Navigating the need to continually adapt…
Introduction to the Chameleon Life
Being good at mood matching as a social skill is imperative for success. It takes practice, but with time the chameleon life comes naturally and doesn’t even take a second thought.
The Setting
Every gathering has its own vibe, or mood, if you will. And as a keen observer and people watcher, I am fascinated by them all. There are goofy gaggles, the intense and intellectual, the somber and serious, the fun and festive, the inclusive and exclusive, and the mix and mash of many. To this day, I still haven’t figured out what person or persons lead the collective mood, or whether everyone feeds off the vibe of everyone.
The Mismatching
One thing is for sure, though. You feel like an inexperienced player sawing the bow across the violin strings if you are “off” on your demeanor and it grates against the atmosphere of the group. I have been there many times myself, and it was off-putting every time. I was ridiculously inexperienced in my social skills, and I felt emotionally rigid because I couldn’t figure out how to be flexible to different settings.
Learning Your Colors for the Chameleon Life
So the question is, how do you get past that? The best part of the answer is, you take your own emotional spectrum and the range of your personality and fit it to each individual setting. To even begin, you need a solid grasp of your personality and all its levels and a thorough knowledge of your emotional intelligence and depth. You are working with what is you. You are not trying to become someone else.
Don’t get stuck on one facet of your personality or one emotional level and let that define who you are all the time. That kind of rigidity stagnates your growth as a complex individual. It may feel way outside your comfort zone to explore and discover all the branches of the tree that makes up who you are, but it results in an enriching expansion of yourself. And, it can be an exciting ride!
An Example of Color Learning
For an example, when I was growing up, I always thought of myself as serious, somber, intellectual, and bookish. Which I was. But as I got into my teens, I (accidentally) came upon a fun-loving, hilarious, and joking side of me. Somehow that side of me also played into my intellectual side, as I love to play on words and (try to) be witty about them.
My sense of humor took some fascinating turns, but in the end, I can honestly say that I am both sides of the coin. I am serious, and I am funny. I am intensely intellectual as well as nonsensically silly. And that is just one example. But for the longest time I embraced one branch to the exclusion of all others. And that was the thing that made me rigid, personality-wise.
Summary of Chameleon Life Colors
And so, the first step to adapting to different environments could be the summed up in the saying,
“Know thyself”.
But it also extends to developing all the branches of your personality tree.
Mastering Mood Matching
The next thing to master to excel at the chameleon life of mood matching is emotional control or fluidity. The ability to pull from different parts of your personality and put them together with the proper emotional level to fit the setting.
Control Center
To give an illustration to make sense to what I am talking about, think of it as a switch board in a control center. This control center maintains all aspects of your personality and every point on your emotional spectrum. The switch board is where you turn on or off, increase or decrease, engage or disengage, and mix or match all the combinations of emotion and personality to create the right formula for the occasion.
I will add right here, that if this feels a little intellectually calculated to you, it probably is. I understand that, while it’s cliche, not all introverts are as philosophical or intellectually inclined as others. So this is where I will say, take what fits and discard what doesn’t from this section. This takes high levels of self-control and emotional regulation. Without that, you will have great difficulty in driving your emotions and personality facets to flexibility.
If this sounds complicated, it is. But the longer it’s practiced, the easier it gets, till it feels as natural as breathing. You don’t have to think about it after a while. You just do it. And as I said before, you are taking what you already have inside yourself, and becoming a master on it. As my mechanic husband says all the time, it’s “finding out what the car can do and exploring its limits”. It’s becoming an expert on you.
No one can teach you how to do this. It’s something that you must learn for yourself, by yourself, and with a lot of trial and error. I am just hear to tell you that not only is it possible, but it is also fun and rewarding.
Conclusion of the Chameleon Life
So, my friend, go “know thyself” like Inside Out, and take command at the switchboard in Headquarters, and enjoy the exciting ride! If anything else, you will appreciate the boost of confidence that the power of having that kind of self-control and mood matching ability brings. Not only that, you will be well-rounded and fascinating, and that will attract other people to all the beautiful colors of your personality. The chameleon life is awesome!
To check back for more, or to read previous articles in the series, visit my psychology page at https://www.thoughtspirations.com/psychology/
If you would like to learn more on thriving as an introvert in today’s society, visit https://www.quietrev.com/. Or click the button below to read the amazing book by the author on the preceding companion website.
