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Navigating the eventual participation in social gatherings when crowds feel like Kryptonite.
Introduction to Crowds Feel Like Kryptonite
Success! You have managed to dodge all the invites to parties and get-togethers where there will be a bunch of people you don’t know. You breathe with relief every time you manage to keep your social life to small, quiet, personal events. And then, it happens. A big party you can’t refuse or find a way out of. A lot of the attendees are people you have never met. Your palms sweat and your heartbeat quickens just thinking about it. What to do when crowds feel like Kryptonite, and how do you get past the initial awkwardness?
Steps for the Best Case Scenario
There are a few steps you can take to navigate this to a smashing success. But before, I go into them, I would like to remind you of something you need to hear. Don’t panic. And, above all, don’t imagine the worst case scenario of you making a bumbling idiot out of yourself. It won’t help matters any, I promise. OK? Good. Now, lets dive into some tips and ideas to make the event a great one for you.
Get an Idea
First, create a mental portfolio of the people who are attending. Ask your friend that invited you who’s going to be there and a bit about them. Like, what are their jobs, hobbies, or interests? If you find that at least one or two people there will share something in common with you, it will give you some reassurance and a foothold into the previously unknown guest list.
Ask for Introduction
Next, communicate that you would like to meet so-and-so because of common interests and ask your friend to introduce you. This will give you a stepping stone into the social gathering and, if all goes well, it should be enough to propel you through the rest of the evening.
The Crowds Feel Like Kryptonite Scenario
Now, what do you do if you are invited last minute, or your friend doesn’t know many of the people coming either? A little trickier, but not entirely impossible. There’s a way to navigate this. It may feel more awkward at first, but once you get the feel of it, it will come more naturally.
Be an Early Bird
First, get there early if at all possible. This will give you an edge and a head start. As people trickle in, they will feel more compelled to introduce themselves to the person already there. You just may develop some rapport with people you wouldn’t have otherwise, because it’s still a small group.
Gaggle with a Group
If you can’t get there early, and a crowd is already there, then here is where it can feel a little awkward at first. Instead of standing in a corner, wander through the conversational groups until you find one discussing a topic of interest to you. Then, stand there at the edge of the group, listening.
Yes, I know! Feels really weird, doesn’t it? But let me reassure you of something. Not a single extrovert in that room will see that as rude, imposing, or uncomfortable. Cause, guess what? They do this all the time! They will always be going from conversation of interest to conversation of interest, even if it means leaving the current gaggle and joining the next one over! Most of the time, they don’t even bother listening for five minutes before speaking up with their contribution. And no one thinks anything of it!
Now, because we are not extroverts, it’s helpful if someone we know is in that group, so we feel like we could belong. But it’s not necessary. And since we are introverts, we are going to naturally listen in until we are comfortable enough and have something of importance to say. Therefore, the only thing that is different for us is overcoming the tendency to feel like we are unwelcome, because if someone popped up in our little circle of friends it would feel like an intrusion to us. But to them, it’s not.
The more you do it, and the more you observe that no one minds at all, the more second nature it will be. And that will give you the confidence boost you need to blossom the rest of the event! And when that happens, people may gravitate toward you as you show interesting and attractive parts of your personality that were under wraps before. It has happened to me. It can happen to you.
Leave while Ahead
At this point, don’t feel at all guilty of leaving early. You don’t have to stay as late as everyone else. Trust me! That will, without fail, be very late! If you feel your energy or emotional endurance start to flag, definitely leave while it’s still going well, so you can actually look back on it as a good experience when you get home.
High Five!
And success! You just navigated a big social gathering. What happened to when the crowds feel like Kryptonite? Well, no sir! Not anymore! You got this!
Stay tuned for my next article on the need to continually adapt to situations, and read the previous articles in the series by going to the Psychology page on my blog!
If you would like to learn more on thriving as an introvert in today’s society, visit https://www.quietrev.com/. Or click the button below to read the amazing book by the author on the preceding companion website.
This is article four in the series Navigating the Obstacles of an Extroverted Society .
Another good article, Amber!