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Introduction to My Birth Story
I have wanted to write about my daughter’s birth story for a long time. At times, writing is something that I do therapeutically. I often process through my emotions, sort through my confusion, or found answers to questions about myself by taking pen to paper. Words are my therapy. But this time, I hesitated. As contrary to my nature as that is, I felt the intense need to wait until I worked everything out in my mind and heart before I put it down into words. It might be because birth is a very personal thing, or it might be the nature of my birth story. Either way, I finally arrived at the point where I feel it’s time.
My Pregnancy
First Trimester
My pregnancy was easy, as pregnancy standards go. The only difficulty was between weeks seven and thirteen of the first trimester. Morning sickness for me entailed 24/7 nausea and queasiness, which resulted in emptying the contents of my digestive system on occasion. I worked my full-time schedule as a Massage Therapist through it all, but I was beyond miserable.
After a month, I told my husband that I couldn’t see myself doing this more than twice. It was exhaustion beyond belief those six weeks and it felt like forever. The two saving graces were, first, my wonderful husband, and second, Preggie Pops. For reals, ladies, if you are ever thinking of having children, stock up on those! They made my utter misery a lot more bearable.
Second and Third Trimester
After everything in my digestive system settled down, the last two trimesters were a breeze. Other than being constantly hungry, with less and less room to eat, and craving Hawaiian Pizza, I felt great. I didn’t truly start showing until almost my third trimester, so it surprised people to hear I had one in the oven. My energy levels stayed exceptionally high, according to all the other previously pregnant ladies. And I took it easy, took care of myself, yet did not slow down at the same time. I did lighten up my schedule at the last two months of my pregnancy. Yet, I worked past my first two due dates. I felt good!
The Chapter Before the Birth
My last day at work was the last day of February, a Thursday. I got a nice prenatal massage on Friday and focused on resting and nesting. I was calm, excited, and looked forward to a nice, peaceful home birth of my dreams. As a Massage Therapist I’d continuously learned how to be in tune with my body for the past two and a half years.
So my mindset was that I shouldn’t have any issues with staying relaxed and in a good mental space. My husband and I read a Bradley Method book, and he was ready to be my support during labor. Barring any unforeseen delays, I assumed my labor shouldn’t be any longer than 24 hours. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically in the place I thought I was supposed to be.
Conclusion to the Introduction to My Birth Story
Since I never went to or through a birth before my plan was to heavily rely on the midwives to guide me through the process. I was optimistic and inexperienced. And something lurked beneath the surface that I never thought I would deal with. And every single time the thought crossed my mind, I refused to confront it.
I was in denial. And that denial set me up for an entirely different birth than I wanted, and that one thing hid so far beneath my conscious awareness that it took me months to figure out what happened and why my birth went the way it did. The following articles are my birth story and my journey through those three days and three nights.
Many thanks to the midwives at Grace Midwifery for encouraging me to talk about the birth and work through my emotions. And of course, as a writer, I have to write about it. And just like in the Bible, God and the midwives are heroes in my story.
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